sunday

BB SHOWCASE/FANMEET DAY!
I STILL CAN'T BELIVE I SAW SOMEONE FROM SS501! AND NOT JUST ANYONE, MY 2ND BIAS?!
IT FEELS LIKE A DREAM, TOTALLY ♥

i need to properly spazz abt it here so that when i start forgetting abt it a few months down the road, i have somewhere to get back to and refreash my memory LOL
i'm already starting to forget the moment when he looked at me coz i was stunned and i totally blanked out.
only rmb his voice and face and the way he said MIMI a few times ><
ahhhhh.

when i got home, i stayed downstairs for awhile before going up to call alicia and spazz to her.
i was seriously hyperventilating and all the words were rushing out of me so fast LOL
thanks ball for listening to all my spazzings! (:

kkay, so a proper post tmr since i'm too tired/sleepy after wrtiting the previous one today LOL

one of the only few pics that my stupid cam would allow me to take. should have brought my dslr but then again, i took lots of hq, clear videos which i totally love (:





27/08 - 29/08, these 3 days were epic (:

friday
i don't usually rate my b'days each year but this year was definitely the most memorable.
had driving in the morning and then guitar in the afternoon.
alicia got me this really cute/delicious cheese cake (i thought it was pandan cake at first LOL). i think i ate most of it haha xD


had the last guitar lesson and it was kinda sad when it came to an end.
no more laughing over silly lyrics (MY SWEET MOONBEAM hehe)
no more sunday gatherings
and i'll miss playing guitar with the rest of them. it wouldn't be the same playing alone.
even though i started out extremely musically challenged, i did learn some things and wasn't totally horrible at playing (but i AM kinda pathetic at playing) haha
and we added gabriel on fb so that we can keep in touch and maybe one fine day gather to play together again? (:

went out for dinner and i realllyyy loved the place lol
i camwhored alot, not of myself but of others and food/non-human things xD
came home and had strawberry shortcake, which i shamelessly asked my mum to get for me LOL. it's really nice okay! xD


oh and serena made me this 2011 calender which is damn cute. i didn't want her to get me anything coz for the past 3 years we haven't been giving each other any presents but she did and i kinda feel bad now D:
anw, pasted PASS pics in it and i totally love it hehe


saturday
had qmul sing soc gathering at one of the senior's house.
met really nice seniors and there were only 1 other freasher who i didn't know. so ended up the seniors outnumbered the freashers haha
we heard some freaky stories about getting mugged/gay-raped?! HAHA and yea, other stories as well.
so kinda feel abit nervous now LOL
kkay, just have to follow my blur instincts xD
me, charlotte and vathany left earlier coz i wanted to go to the airport to see HYUNG JUN! (BB)

the rest of us were kinda familiar with the happenings cept alicia.
she was so funny when she smsed me with "DEFINE MANY" when i asked her if there were many ppl already coz i was running late haha xD
even yunsu managed to show up earlier.
anw, according to them, my voice was even even more high-pitched and mosquito-like when i started squealing to them abt seeing BB. LOL
but he was just sooo gorgeous and hot in person!
and he totally beats snow white in terms of fairness LOL
and he's soo sweet!
and i totally died after that one glance at him.
><

but what happened after receiving BB was even more epic.
unnaa offered to drive me and yunsu home and drop off alicia, chun and bern at bedok.
and seriously, i felt like i was entering a new phase in life when my friend was fetching me home HAHA
so we all got on, excited but ended up distracting unnaa so badly that she accidentally took the PIE instead of ECP LOL
srsly, it sooo wasn't her fault. i think we were too distracting hahah xD
what happened after that in the car can't be described in words.
briefly, we ended up touring atleast 1/4 of singapore at midnight.
epic lines were said including chun's "i see sth, oh it's just drive safely" and yunsu's "no no unnaa we can't drop them off here, it's geylang!"
me and bern were going high in the back of the car while chun and alicia were trying to direct unnaa. well, mostly chun since alicia was caught up in an occassional giggling fit xD
so anw, we all managed to end up home safely haha.
and i'll never forget our late night JOYRIDE ♥


uhm i don't have a crush at the moment. how?
shall i write one to jungmin then? HAHA
i'm mad xD

dear crush,

you obviously don't know me and there's a 99.99999% chance that you'll never know my existance. needless to say, i know alot more about you than you know about me. i wish i knew you earlier.

i love your voice; that would be the main reason i like you, i guess. of course, i like your personality too and some of your interests are my interests as well. like for one, i always wanted to design clothes and own my own line; maybe have a small cozy boutique that would be as pretty as the clothes i make. however, that's more like a fantasy to me because i can't see myself doing something like that. but seeing you do it makes me happy and makes me wanna support you. it's always great to see someone fulfiling their dreams one by one.

another reason why i like you is you have the right amount of self-confidence. i lack in that aspect, sadly. truthfully, you aren't one of the most popular guy out there and even in your own group, you rank in the bottom. but that doesn't put you down. even if it does, you don't show it and carry yourself with the right amount of self-esteem. your confidence in yourself is never hampered and that reflects in your actions. i wish i had atleast half of your confidence.

i loved it when you said that you don't have an idol but you yourself hope to become an idol to other people. some people might think you're being arrogant but to me, that reflects confidence in your abilities and a desire to spur other people to achive their goals to the best of their abilities.

i wish i'm able to see you atleast once in my lifetime, regardles of whether you're still my crush or not. actually, crush isn't even the right word for you. anyways, i hope you succeed in whatever you do and i would be sure to look out for you in the future. eat carrots and be happy always.

good luck for the future.

love,

me

p.s. can you please not get married or attached until i do? LOL kidding of course!

*writes a secret note* LOL

got this from alicia (:

30 day letter challenge
* day 1 Best friend
* day 2 Your crush
* day 3 Your parents
* day 4 Your siblings ( or close relatives )
* day 5 Your dreams
* day 6 A stranger
* day 7 Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/ /crush
* day 8 Your favorite internet friend
* day 9 Someone you wish you could meet
* day 10 Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
* day 11 A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
* day 12 The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
* day 13 Someone you wish could forgive you
* day 14 Someone you’ve drifted away from
* day 15 The person you miss the most
* day 16 Someone that’s not in your state/country
* day 17 Someone from your childhood
* day 18 The person that you wish you could be
* day 19 Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
* day 20 The one that broke your heart the hardest
* day 21 Someone you judged by their first impression
* day 22 Someone you want to give a second chance to
* day 23 The last person you kissed
* day 24 The person that gave you your favorite memory
* day 25 The person you know that is going through the worst of times
* day 26 The last person you made a pinky promise to
* day 27 The friendliest person you knew for only one day
* day 28 Someone that changed your life
* day 29 The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
* day 30 Your reflection in the mirror

i missed my blog!
really x3
it was totally discarded while i was too busy tumbling away.
the last post is 2 months ago?! omg >_<
i fail at consistancy since i stopped the 30-day ss501 challenge halfway as well.
sheesh.

i guess i saw a need of my blog in future
esp when i'm being a loner in my small room in uk.lol
kkay, i'm being super pessimistic.
it's more like, i want a place to rant, like i used to before getting so into tumblr that i forgot all about this one D:

honestly, tumblr is really addictive.
esp with all the amazing people there, it's so happening and all.
i'm like always spazzing over sth with someone, there.
but while doing that, i haven't been ranting about my boring life enough.
okay, it hasen't been so boring, esp with the korea trip and everything.
so, i actually have alot to write (and typing is better than writing it in my diary which is usually reserved for extreme moments lol).

anyways, everyone started/going to start uni.
cept me. i still have a month or so to go before i get dragged to hell as well.
it's not that i'm totally depressed about going to uk.
part of me is really excited at the prospect but a bigger part is really worried about having to live alone and struggling with assignments/exams all over again.
after the 8 months break, it feels as if i no longer have a brain to work with.
seriously, i feel like mine degenrated much more than my friends' did LOL.
so yea, worried about all the schoolwork and stuff.

the greatest worry though is being without my family/friends.
i never had to look after myself, wash my own clothes, cook my own food, etc etc.
and everytime i felt emo/stressed, i had my mum to whine to until i felt better.
or friends, to call up and chat.
meet for random shopping trips and rant to them about everything.
i don't know how am i gonna survive in uk without all of these in my life.
sure there's the internet but it can only do so much.
it can never beat spazzing over which magazines to buy in kino
or ht-hts
or hitting my bro and being all smug about it
or baking with my mum.
and the list goes on.

i know i can't just look at all the things i'm gonna be missing out on.
there's so many more things that i'll get to experience. hopefully.
i'm just hoping and wishing that my uni life would be such that it wouldn't let me miss everything here terribly.
it doesn't have to be fantastic, it just has to be sth that won't make me feel like coming back to sg everyday.
that's all.

on another note, my qmul med classmates from sg all seem really nice (:
i haven't really met 2 of the guys but the other 3 are people i am comfortable with i guess.
and my budget buddyyy! hahaha omg i'm so glad you're going. reallyy! x3
the few seniors i met during the smsl-uk freasher's gathering seemed nice and approachable (:
hopefully, my non-sg coursemates and seniors would be as friendly as these people.
looking forward to the qmul singapore society gathering this saturday!
i realised that one of my tkgs seniors (who was in library soc and knew yisi) is also going qmul this year! yay~
the more the merrier (:

anyways, back to all my friends getting busy with uni,
i'm already getting scared of uni life from what i hear from them.
it's assignments and projects from the very first day! omg?!
and some even have exams already.
sighs.
i'm scared. totally >_<
and all the hall camps/facult camps sound damn scary LOL
i wonder what kinda camps they'll have over in uk xD
better not ask me sick questions LOL

lastly, i guess the highlight of the week is hyung jun's fanmeet this sunday.
i know i'm excited but i think i should be MORE excited?! haha sheesh me
i just keep on thinking that it isn't jungmin and if i'll ever get to see jm.
but seriously, i'm glad bb is ccoming and not one of the rest 3 coz bb is my second bias?! hahah
oh mannn.
shall stop looking at jm pics/vids this week.
that's what i hate about myself.
even if it's not jm, even if it's not all 5 of them, atleast it's one of them?
and i shd be happy with what i get, right?
and i AM happy. really. atleast this proves that i don't just have bad luck. lol
it seriously all started with the cn blue guy that yunsu likes, smiling at her.
and seeing her all happy and blushing made me think how i would be if jungmin smiled at me LOL
kkay, far-fetched thoughts xD

nvm, as my friend said, one at a time.
one day, maybe i'll get to see jm too! (:

ahh kkay, felt good to rant so much.
as happening and addictive tumblr is, i can't rant there unlike here.
so yea, i'm gonna be consistant. or try to be lol.
♥

was a bad day.
wanted to come home and relax, take my mind off things for awhile by spazzing over double S.
so i started watching random vids on youtube
and realised that there's so many things i missed when i didn't know them for the 3 years in which they had been active as a GROUP the most
and then i read some depressing news about them
hence, the depressed post.

i always turned to SS whenever i needed a small escape from problems
but now, they became one of the problems
sheesh.

just as i was about to recall the golden old days (of both mine and SS), i realised that i accidentally missed driving class today
wrote it down in my notebook but never checked.

and i feel as if my head's about to blow up
with the constant head aches, problems, hopelessness and now this.
like seriously, i don't know if there's any positive things left to look forward to now
and i have to deal with everything that's been goin on since i no longer have an escape route.

nyaa i'm too lazy to continue with the 30-day challenge! D:
for now atleast. maybe i'll take it up again when ss501 goes MIA haha~

anywaysss, this week was a slacky one.
couldn't go to work for 3 days coz of tb test/head ache that never stops/too many trips to cdc ubi.

i find driving lessons unbearable.

i don't want june to end.

and i think i'm slightly anti-social O_o

had a shopping trip with alicia on monday and bought alot of things! which made us very happyy haha. anyways, bought nice stuff but couldn't find a pair of nice boots. i really really wanted a pair D:

caught a movie on thursday. was nice and obviously, we went high over random stuff, like usual (:


been watching/hearing/reading SS501 alot since their comeback. even when there's no new shows to watch, i'll go back to the old ones and watch them all over again and they never fail to make me laugh (:
but maybe i'm over-doing my double S craze lately. whatever, it makes me happy and is a nice way to pass time so i shall guiltlessly continue. hehe

omg missed 3 days. i have a problem with consistancy.

day 04 - Favorite Jungmin cover


his
voice sounds like a diva. totally haha. it totally makes me squirm and smile
stupidly to myself XD
but yea, out of the 2 solos, i like this one more.
especially at the part, baby come to me my love,
he sounds so angelic!~

day 05 - Favorite variety show
Moment
i'm starting to realise why i avoid doing this challenge.
there's SO MANY variety show moments i like! that i can't even think of one
specific T_T

*will put up when i think of one and manage to find the
video*~

day 06 - Favorite Member Engrish




both
are equally funnyyy haha.
actually there's another engrish moment that i
like the best, which is jungmin's CHERRY BOY part during preparation for korean
music festival in hollywood bowl but can't find any vid capturing that part only
D:

day 07 - Quote from a Non-Single Song
내 머리는 너무나 나빠서
너 하나밖에 난 모르고

trans
I’m really, very foolish
I know of no one other
than you

from Because i'm stupid (Boys over flowers OST)

looking forward to shopping spree on monday with ball! :D

just started and missed one day T_T
anyways,

day 02 - A rumor about any of the members that left you an impression
i'll agree that i easily get swayed by rumors, esp rumours regarding these 5 people haha. but the most significant one has to be the rumor regarding leader having a korean-canadian gf who's apprantly studying in uni in canada now and he even went to visit her in canada. APPARANTLY.
didn't really leave any long-lasting impression even though i was quite hyped up at first coz i got to know it damn late haha.
even though it's just a rumor. or maybe not XD
dunno if that fit the qs but oh wells.

day 03 - A Hyunjoong picture you can’t take your eyes off
i can't take my eyes of ALL hyujoong pics T_T
haha but okay, i'll pick one (out of the hundreds in my collection ;D)

this was from the solo interview time during we got married.
i shd mention that it was a HARD TASK finding a pic since i pretty much stare at all his pics a few times haha.
but i guess, a old one would be more fitting than a new one since i would have spent a considerable amount of time looking at it.
i like any pics in which he smiles; perfect teeth (pearly white wide smile? hehe) and the strawberry face shape becomes more prominant. and the way his eyes almost close but doesnt close all together since his eyes are much mch bigger than other korean guys haha.

going out with xiaowei always, ALWAYS means that i spend money. haha
in a good way because i end up buying sth useful (or hopefully). got this overnight face mask tube from The Face Shop which smells and feels damn niceee! (:

on another note, i'm frustrated since afternoon.